Similar to the way wind, waves, tides and currents shape our coast and at times can produce uncandidly perfect sets of waves; influences, opportunities, love and friendships can create incredible sets of experiences. Though what lies beneath is what creates perfect flowing senses. As fluids of sand granules settle to define banks and troughs, life lessons define humanity and ability within. With that being said, this tangent is about life in sets.
2012 is almost at a close. Honestly, I can’t wait to start the New Year. I have enthusiastic drive to make my high expectations upon myself happen in 2013. Somewhat minimalist though boldly determined. Why, because the groundswell of 2012 redefined who I am as a person – instinctively as a whole 26 years. I am undoubtedly the strongest I have ever been, both physically and mentally.
While I sit and reflect, there have been heavy, defining moments throughout the year that influenced opportunities to sense love and form bounding friendships. Moments felt in sets.
One, among others saw me at the lowest I just may ever be. Crushed by the loss of David left me with the stark realisation that life isn’t all sunsets, moonrises and sandcastles. My rose coloured glasses turned dark as tears of sorrow eroded part of me. To loss the deep love and friendship we shared was almost like being held under a heavy wave and thrashed against a bank, not knowing the way to the surface to breathe. Though the people around me during such hard times helped me reach the surface. The sense of grasping for air is an understatement for what I have felt throughout the year.
Amongst it all, I have somewhat maintained a visage of good vibes, smiles and enthusiasm. Passion for life and the coast, and the trust I hold in those that believe in me allowed me to reach beyond – beyond the horizon at times. Finishing my Masters, finding new love (my rescued island dog “Elle”), achievements at work and a sense of a lasting legacy already paving its way. I wear the oath of believing in oneself, which almost develops a whole new meaning to life – a stronger oneself from the help of others.
Why share such feelings now? It takes strength in oneself to realise strength comes in time when exposed to eroding forces. Forces you can never quite control and surface when least expected, as loss builds strength to sustain the good that forms resilience. Further, it is an art to arrange feelings into words and an awakening to realise those feelings.
What I do know is that it takes will to carry on. Will to carry new hope, new perspectives and new life. Take my advice for 2013 – know your own strength to build more to sense the good during life’s moments in sets.
Happy New Year, I can now breathe.