SURGES OF ENERGY

I love youOK, I started tangenting about the first day of winter cause surely it can’t be the 1st of June already, and winter? And I am not pulling the wool over your eyes, which we actually haven’t needed to considering the warmer than usual weather – to much puntime.

Nevertheless, as tangents always change once I start tapping away, this one has turned into why I haven’t been tangenting. Fundamental reason is due to my newfound shadow and love, Daniel. Who just happens to lying next to me – and just realised I am writing about him.

Having been a single gal for a few years it has been surprisingly interesting to share my time, thoughts and tangents with a person rather than type away and publish my complicated crossroads across the world. In more than one way, Daniel has become my tangent buddy.

Though, first up I do have proof that “I’m not all about sand, beaches and dunes”, as Daniel, said a few months ago. So, that ought to be a plus for him (and us) cause times could get rather sandy than they need to be or rather needs to be shared as the truth has been spoken – I am more than sand, beaches and dunes.

But hey, I do and somehow almost seem to bring everything back to dunes and to be honest there are many similarities between dunes and Daniel. Obviously, both have the same first character – the letter D. Though, on a more serious note, both are active, dynamic and always changing. Their energy balances the level of energy within the system or when lacking absorb energy to have energy, and that is what I find most attractive – their energy.

Energy has always been a drawcard for me. To absorb and feed from energy is vital for all human interactions. Taking into account how energy can neither be created nor destroyed, when energy surges your way absorb what you can and share with others. ‘Cause such energy can turn into love, meaning, love is just is – it’s energy and can’t be destroyed.

Life in sets

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Similar to the way wind, waves, tides and currents shape our coast and at times can produce uncandidly perfect sets of waves; influences, opportunities, love and friendships can create incredible sets of experiences. Though what lies beneath is what creates perfect flowing senses. As fluids of sand granules settle to define banks and troughs, life lessons define humanity and ability within. With that being said, this tangent is about life in sets.

2012 is almost at a close. Honestly, I can’t wait to start the New Year. I have enthusiastic drive to make my high expectations upon myself happen in 2013. Somewhat minimalist though boldly determined. Why, because the groundswell of 2012 redefined who I am as a person – instinctively as a whole 26 years. I am undoubtedly the strongest I have ever been, both physically and mentally.

While I sit and reflect, there have been heavy, defining moments throughout the year that influenced opportunities to sense love and form bounding friendships. Moments felt in sets.

One, among others saw me at the lowest I just may ever be. Crushed by the loss of David left me with the stark realisation that life isn’t all sunsets, moonrises and sandcastles. My rose coloured glasses turned dark as tears of sorrow eroded part of me. To loss the deep love and friendship we shared was almost like being held under a heavy wave and thrashed against a bank, not knowing the way to the surface to breathe. Though the people around me during such hard times helped me reach the surface. The sense of grasping for air is an understatement for what I have felt throughout the year.

Amongst it all, I have somewhat maintained a visage of good vibes, smiles and enthusiasm. Passion for life and the coast, and the trust I hold in those that believe in me allowed me to reach beyond – beyond the horizon at times. Finishing my Masters, finding new love (my rescued island dog “Elle”), achievements at work and a sense of a lasting legacy already paving its way. I wear the oath of believing in oneself, which almost develops a whole new meaning to life – a stronger oneself from the help of others.

Why share such feelings now? It takes strength in oneself to realise strength comes in time when exposed to eroding forces. Forces you can never quite control and surface when least expected, as loss builds strength to sustain the good that forms resilience. Further, it is an art to arrange feelings into words and an awakening to realise those feelings.

What I do know is that it takes will to carry on. Will to carry new hope, new perspectives and new life. Take my advice for 2013 – know your own strength to build more to sense the good during life’s moments in sets.  

Happy New Year, I can now breathe.